Shifting Perspectives: Blooming into Self-Love

By Jennifer Dodge

The month of February is often associated with thoughts of romantic love.  Valentine’s day has become a highly commercialized holiday. Generic romantic gestures abound in the form of flowers and chocolates. Many are left with unrealistic expectations of overexaggerated romantic overtures.

High expectations often lead to epic disappointments for those in romantic relationships. The heightened focus on romance can magnify the lack of romantic love for those who are not in relationships.

Why not take this month to shift your focus more toward loving yourself, and less on the expectation of receiving love from others? What about self-love? Have you ever looked yourself in eye and said, “I love you”, while you were looking in the mirror?

The first thing I thought of when I was first told to try this was Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live. Just like Stuart, it was awkward and uncomfortable at first.  Then, as I repeated the words and they sank in, I actually began to sob.

Why? Because at that time in my life, I wasn’t giving myself enough love to really believe those words coming out of my own mouth.  This really is a powerful exercise!

I truly believe that our subconscious mind hears the thoughts that we think, and the words that we say about ourselves.  If you find it difficult to look in the mirror and say those three words without feeling uncomfortable, I suggest paying attention to the way that you speak and think about yourself.

Are you using kind and loving words? If not, what are the reasons?

I’m willing to bet that you believe the words that you say to yourself.  If you say, “I’m such an idiot” or “I look awful” your subconscious is going to believe you, and you are going to look for and find reinforcement of these statement in your life.

Your thoughts inform your reality, as well as your sense of wellbeing.

A bud will open when given the right conditions.  Allow yourself to bloom.  Give yourself the love that you have been searching for outside of yourself. Try spending several minutes every day looking in the mirror and affirming all the things you love about yourself.

I know, I know. It sounds tacky.  Just the idea makes you uncomfortable.

But that is the point!  You wouldn’t need to say an affirmation if you believed the things that you were saying were true.  The magic is that if you repeat it enough, you will start to believe it.  As you shift to a perspective of yourself based in self-love, you may notice yourself opening more to the possibilities that life has to offer.

Building supportive connections with other women is another ingredient in self-love.
Let’s face it. We’ve all been through a lot of shit in our lives, and we often feel alone and unsupported.
We (SabrinaJoy Milbury of Just Dancing Gardens and I) are offering a series of Women’s Circles in the evening where women to come together to share stories, be heard, seen, loved, and supported and get that we are not alone, and we are not crazy. Click here for more information or to register.

Schedule a session with me if you are looking for support and guidance navigating life’s challenges, or if you’d like to improve your quality of life and sense of wellbeing. 

Photo Credit: Jennifer Dodge